So Fly

Goodbye for now

2011-03-15T17:10:00.000+08:00

Hey I'm back to my blog again, I think ...
I won't be here for long because I think I'll stop blogging.
The lonely days at home had make me realised its pointless.
So I decided to leave this blog for the time being.

Korean word is HELLO/GOODBYE (informal)

Fear not, I moved BACK to tumblr.com.
Last year around this month, I created a tumblr.
It used to be my mini-blog for this blog.
It should be a photo viewing blog for this blog.

It was a failure back then as juggling 2 blogs is not easy.
So tumblr was abandoned, I continue to use blogspot.com.
Staying at home all day long, it only leads to empty thoughts.
So instead full blogging, I switch myself to micro blogging.

Basically, my tumblr will be posting random pictures.
Pictures that tell my current mood or thoughts.
The style of the pictures is a little bit of vintage and polaroid-ish.
I think I will be happier using tumblr to express myself.

So this is the last batch of pictures of myself,
enjoy because I don't think I will take them again.
But do drop by my tumblr to view my pictures.
Feel free to reblog them too, don't be shy.

CLICK HERE <- Link to my tumblr.

Hello, I have

2011-02-14T14:13:00.000+08:00

Its the time of the year again, its Valentine's day.
To me, its just another ordinary day and it will pass by.
Not gonna experience what other people will go thru' on this day, yet.
But I don't mind, I am positive that I will experience it in the near future?

I spend it with my plush :)

Just pictures today, not much to talk about

its dark

2011-02-11T18:07:00.000+08:00

Reluctant to update my blog due to lack of topic to discuss.
My last batch of photos doesn't exactly screams my name.
I am sure you are as disappointed as I am .
Furthermore, this Chinese New Year is a 'lil hectic for me.

I'm busy almost everyday, so today only i got the time.
Just for your information, I have a new batch of pictures.
I am gonna post them soon, be patience 'kay?
So for now just enjoy this dark, artsy picture.

Also Valentine's Day is coming soon, so what?
Makes no differences to me YET.

Vibrant.

2011-01-24T17:15:00.000+08:00

When I was a younger, I fancy vibrant colour clothes.
Warm, lively colours like yellow and orange.
I used to own lots of tees with those colours.
Its a fun colour and somewhat adventurous too.

Looking at the colour scheme of anything just makes me smile.
Thinking of all those colours seems like a positive thought.
Its rather motivating and radiating life to my eyes.
It definitely moves me and inspires me too.

Growing up day by day, its seems like all the colours is bleaching.
Its becoming dull and more unappealing compared to when I'm younger.
Maybe the colourful world that I used to live in no longer exist.
Even my taste towards colours has changed, I prefer monotonous colours.

I do wish my life remains lively as it used to be, just like an adventure.
Now my life is certainly described as a legal document, black & white.
My closet used to be filled with colourful tees, but I got rid of all of them.
Now what is left behind is all those black, grey, blue and also white tees.

Somehow I feel that vibrant colours are not suitable for me.
It doesn't exactly fit my personality anymore, I am definitely become boring.
Or I don't want to be defined by the clothes I wear, I can be exciting and lively too.
I want to be bubbly, but I don't want to be bubbly because of my colourful clothes.

Black & white is all about same, repeatitive and also monotonous.
Depends how you see it, its very chic and elegant, also slimming too.
My clothes is my canvas, I shall colour it with my charming personality.
Till someone force to wear brillant colours, I'll stick with black & white for awhile.

My photo shoot isn't successful, it came out horrible.
I will plan out another one soon.

Here, I stand here.

2011-01-19T17:18:00.000+08:00

I know where I stand.

I have been blogging for the past 2 years and still have no specific genre.
I'm sure that I don't need to catagorize my blog to a specific type, right?
It used to be my online diary where I list down my everyday routine in school.
Well, some ideas have strucked into my head and decided to blog something else.

I'm blogging here, there's only one reason because someone encouraged me to do it.
Someone who encourages me to blog about scandalous, funny and the most dumb moments.
Someone told me that its for future references when we get older, it might be funny to read back.
Probably in the future, I will be laughing at myself for blogging all these events.

Blogging about my current events is a gift too, right?

Its a rough start but its all okay right now.
Gotta start from somewhere right?

Thank You, Yo Yi Yun for encouraging me to start all these.
HERE! This is the owner's current blog :)

My Winter Obsession

2011-01-14T12:16:00.000+08:00

I have a super obsession towards winter apparel.
I secretly want to wear jackets, overcoats and trenchcoats.
With Malaysia's hot and humid, also not to mention not cold weather,
I could never wear all the winter apparel that I love so much.

Lately, I saw a lot of boutiques or shops in shopping malls,
all those retails sell winter apparel and things that is not suitable.
Who in the world who lives in Malaysia will purchase them.
Probably those who wants heat stroke, or other wise no one will buy them.

Even obsession towards winter apparel is strong, I know that its unpratical to buy.
What am I suppose to do, turn on the AC, so that I can purposely wear it?
Sometimes I will just daydream into winter wonderland wearing pretty clothes.
Also having someone to cherish the moment with me, sharing hot choco with me too.

Starbucks anyone?

But most of the time the winter apparel in the shops is taunting and luring me.
I must choose to ignore it, I wish I could study abroad just so I can wear it.
What a dumb thing to wonder about, its just an obsession.
I'm sure sooner or later, this obsession will slowly fade away.

Should I really ignore it ?

If seriously there is winter in Malaysia, what will it be ?
Will I always anticipate for the season to pay a visit ?
Will I develop hatred towards winter as it will be super freezing ?
Will I hurry to the nearest retail store and buy more coats and jackets ?

Adrenaline rush ?

I've been to country when they are winter, but its always the starting.
I've never seen real snow in my entire life, wonder what it is like?
Am I able to adapt to the snowy condition, or just simply freeze there?
Surely people from those countries dislike winter as its cold and somehow lonely.

Its definitely cold

It is lonely if there is no one with you.

I am not only obsess with coats and jackets, but plenty more.
Like fingerless leather gloves, scarfs, boots.
I can't seems to find anything that is mentioned above.
That's why there isn't any pictures taken with those.

You caught me, this is my personal favourite shot.

But watch me out, I will work hard to fulfill my winter dream.
I will able to wear all the coats that I love so much.
I will take a walk with the boots that I crave so much.
I will display all the accessories that I have mentioned.

Ironic picture with ironic caption. Get what I mean?

But till then, I am still a dreamer who is still dreaming.
I am also a believer, just watch me :)

-

I am out of my vain pictures to post them here.
I gotta plan up the next photo shoot for myself.
There is plenty to think about, like clothes and location.
Fear not, I will continue to blog even if there isn't much pictures.

I am gonna end the post with my 'act-cute' picture.

*Aegyo means act cute or playfully in korean :)

Enjoy and goodbye.

another one.

2011-01-13T08:56:00.001+08:00

Of accessories and announcement.

2011-01-12T14:11:00.002+08:00

How often do you feel that you need a brand new set of clothes?
Honestly, I always feel that I don't have enough of clothes.
Even so I have a closet filled with numerous of clothes, I'll get bored with them.
Secretly, I don't like repeating my outfits even if I like those clothes.

But having a brand new set of clothes, it costs a lot of money.
I'm someone who is currently unemployed and have no occupation.
I don't think I can afford that much of clothes since I have no income.
Can't always rely on my parents, maybe I should get a part time job.

In this kind of situation, I think accessories should be your best friend.
Accessories does not limit themselves to girls only, but guys too.
Simply adding an accessory to your boring outfit, it can jazz it up.
You won't feel that its the same old outfit, but it will be a lil brand new.

As example: This is a plain white button-up tee.

Wear it with a RED tie or other striking colour.
Wearing a tie seems so formal-ish, but it does look different.

You could pair it with suspenders, this look is suitable certain people only.
You all might think that suspenders are for old man, but its not.
I used think that too, but now its different view for me.
Just be bold when it comes to fashion, don't be afraid to try new stuffs.

Seriously, think twice before getting this look.

Pair it with a pair of shades. It gives a big differences in your outfit.

Shocking isn't it? There is a lot of way to spice your current look.
Well, its not that much accessories that I own.

*Results might be vary. Accessories sold separately. :)

-

I am gladly to announce that I have enrolled myself into a college.
So excited that I finally make the decision, no longer feeling lost.

I am taking Visual Communication course in Raffles for April intake.
Visual Communication is basically creating communication that can be seen.
Its like Graphic Design with some Multimedia Design in the course.
There is photography class too. Can't wait for that. *grins*

-

I am hyped up for tomorrow's big event, I'm so so so excited.
I am attending Digi Live K-Pop Party 2011, *jumps in joy*
I am gonna witness BEAST, 4Minute and G.NA live.
Don't tell anyone but I am BEAST-biased, shhhh !

Here is my ticket for the concert.

Shall I post some of their pictures ?
I think I should ...

This is BEAST/B2ST.

This is 4Minute.

-

Its January and most of my friends have started their college.
I know its a bit late but I wish them good luck.
They are back to school but not for me, feeling kind of lonely without them.
Nevermind that, I must enjoy my holiday and get sufficient rest before school starts.

How I wish there is cold weather in Malaysia, so that I can wear like that.
Don't pay attention to my messy hair, my hair too long to style.
If the caption for the photo doesn't fits the picture, ignore it.
I had a hard time thinking caption for it, some doesn't make sense.

-

There is another batch of photos, here is the teaser for it :)

I added a page to the blog, its 'ABOUT ME'.
Do check it out, it might suck, correct me if I'm wrong.
If you have notice, I have changed the layout.
This will be the permanent layout for now.

Till the next post, please enjoy this post and the pictures too.

Uncertain toward time

2011-01-11T12:36:00.001+08:00

Time, we always seems to lose track of time when we're busy.
Particularly when happy and enjoyous moments in our life.
I sometimes feel that time is toying us all.
Time just fly by so fast and you won't notice it.

Growing up so quickly, I am not prepared for all the next encounters in life.
Lack of time to adapt to newer environment and strangers.
There is this uncertainty that I always fear of.
I am afraid of big changes that will bring impact to my life.

I am just not ready to face all these soon to be new challenges in life.
Till its the right time, I will be brave enough to take a leap in my life.
I learn that its okay to fall down once in awhile as long as you don't give up.
So what if there isn't anyone to catch you, you know that you will be there for yourself.

Now I just want to close my eyes and make a wish, eventhough it might not be granted.
There is all sorts of gathering held lately and my dad is unhappy about it.
He thinks that I am going out so often, now I have this fear of asking permission to go out.
Whenever an invitation comes in, I have no idea what do? Should I cruely decline it?

I feel so lost whenever I need to make decision like this. Its either family or friends.
Then, I will undergo depression because of not knowing what to do.
I feel that I am such a failure, do I give false impression to everyone?
Anyone regrets knowing me and having me as a friend?

I can't determine what will I face in the future.
Its beyond time and it will be unpredictable.
I'll just let life take me wherever it leads me to.
Meanwhile, I gotta solve my current problems.
...

This is the second teaser poster, continue to wonder when will the real pictures debut.

-

Take a leap or just jump ahead, there is nothing to be fear of.

I enable comment system for the blog.
You can either leave comments on the chatbox or the comment after this post.
About the layout, I will change it ASAP.
Till then, enjoy reading.

Teaser 1

2011-01-10T22:08:00.002+08:00

I am upgrading my blog slowly or am I just lazy?

I have more or less 3 months till my college starts.

I have changed the layout into something temporary.

Christmas is long over and embarrassed to keep that layout up for so long.

Previously I posted a picture of me that resemblance a magazine cover.

Instead of transforming that particularly picture, I took more of it.

I shall post more of my fashion photo shoot.

Don't put hopes high up as it might not be fashionable.

I'll posting teaser posters before revealing any of the real pictures.

Enjoyed.

New Year Shopping

2011-01-07T16:46:00.003+08:00

Its almost the time to celebrate chinese new year once again.

Just like any celebration, everyone will be busy preparing.

Preparation such as spring cleaning and major shopping.

Well, all I know is that I need to buy new outfits for this celebration.

A new set of clothes gives you a brand start for the year.

Have you started shopping ? I know I have.

Hehe, you all should start shopping for new clothes.
GOOD LUCK :)

its new year

2011-01-01T13:12:00.002+08:00

Its 2011, twenty eleven. Happy New Year, everyone :)

Merry Christmas

2010-12-23T16:45:00.003+08:00

Its a bit too early to wish everyone but soon i will be busy.

Have fun and stay healthy :)

I have no real christmas tree, take this as the replacement.
Hope you don't mind :)

See you guys next year :)

Chic-ed

2010-12-21T23:17:00.002+08:00

My high school prom night was last night.

Its a happy and enjoyable event, at for me it is.

Truly unforgettable too. Lack of words to describe it.

Prom gave me insomnia, I had more or less 3 hours of sleep.

But I think its worth of my time though.

Of course I was super nervous, as I had to perform.

Somehow I feel so pressured and stressed too.

Anyways I had fun. I am the prom king and the best dressed male.

Here is a picture of me before the event :)

Should I transform this picture into a magazine cover?

i am back

2010-12-09T14:20:00.003+08:00

I am back from my hibernation,

Clearly you seen the new design,

Simple yet its festive,

I think i am resuming in blogging.

SPM just ended, well there is one more subject.

But all the tough subjects is down.

It just feels like its all over.

I am gonna continue to upgrade my blog .....

Please stay tune..... :)

soon i will ...

2010-11-14T15:02:00.002+08:00

soon i will ....
renovate this blog to the highest quality.
increase the quantity of blog post.
take more pictures and provide the finest of them.

in conclusion, i'm gonna start blogging right after SPM.

its not a goodbye

2010-11-08T13:15:00.002+08:00

Picture is not just piece of paper with graphics on it.
Sometimes you can find a beautiful story lie within the picture.
Most often beautiful memories is captivated inside the photo.
Then, does your photos tells you a story of your past?

Though, my graduation ceremony had just passed last week.
I'll always remember it as it just happened yesterdays.
High school is often the starting point of everyone's life.
That is at least what i had been told,

I will take graduation as a new beginning in my life.
A new chapter of my journey, not a goodbye.
I believe that life must go on no matter what happens.
I hope that my pictures brings me nostalgic memories when I'm older.

I capture some of the moments during graduation that mean so much to me.
This blog have also keep track of my high school life.
I'm sure many years later, this blog brings me a lot of memories.
I could never forget the friends that i meet and spend time with.

I know this is irrelevant to graduation, it was taken on my graduation,
This will be the last time that I will be posing like these pictures with my friends.

send my goodbyes

2010-10-16T12:53:00.002+08:00

lately i feel so out of place, there is so much things going on
its affecting my study life though, i couldn't concentrate
seriously i don't feel calm or serene at home, i just ..
i just feel so annoyed and unwanted in a way

my family wasn't the easier to communicate with
as i am growing up, words is getting lesser and lesser
its seems like communication isn't important no more
the only thing we talk about is our whereabout

i feel school is 100 times better than home, no joke
my class teacher and friends are so supportive
always giving me encouragement whether its advice or tease
it feels so warm , never feeling out of place ...

let me share some of my recent encounters,
recently i just passed my driving test, i am suppose to be happy
but i am not because there is a lot of restriction thrown into me
like i can't drive, more like thinking i am incapable ...

before i passed, i miserably failed twice, i was obviously sad
but my parents made me feel worse, kept on telling me i knew you can't do it
in school, everyone tell me i can do it better next time, wonderful
i don't know whether they are exepcting too much or not

everyday i die little at home, filled with misery
here is a postcard, send my misery away

not what i need

2010-08-24T19:45:00.002+08:00

is success that important in a lifetime ? aren't failure least important ?
i may not be living at an old age yet, but things changes and you noticed it
revolutions and evolutions is happening, you can't help it but to look at it
everything is based on trial and error theory, nothing is in a perfect success.

even the greatest may need to fail plenty of times till he got it right
if i were to compared to my own failure, it will be painfully mere
sometimes thinking about the first failure is nothing to compare with today
today as in the present, all the current things that i had built

experience can be gained throughout the process of learning and trying
gotta to be adventurous, try out new and different things
it can really open up more your vision and the way you think
have variety in life might be confusing but a lot can be learned too

listen to everyone around you talked can bring you inspiration
what others said can be helpful and might just be the element you need
....
don't others for granted ..

wth !

2010-08-18T17:04:00.002+08:00

failure is not something that i could not cope with
its just that i find it hard to deal with it and get over it
after so many years of smooth sailing, but now there should be some rough ones
but there are bound to be failures every now and then

the problems is you have no clue when failure strikes
it will hit you in the face and it will hurt so badly
i should not give up, in life there is a lot of unexpected lurking
but its just so stressful, i think i could not go on anymore

this tear breaking moment has brought my heart up and down
as though its falling apart, kept on worrying ....
people's laughing at my failure, i thought i will break down !
but here i am blogging about it, still hang on

everyone telling me how to live my life, i should not care
just go live yours and i will not tell you how to live yours too
sure you can comment, but its my life though
i can be selfish and choose not to listen ....

i am not perfect, but so do you. don't try to be my guide
so just shut up ....

friendship

2010-08-12T21:45:00.002+08:00

there is no layer of depletion between any friendship,
i don't really know the meaning of friendship ..
there is no boundaries between any kind of friendship
anyone with any criteria can be friends as long you don't mind

no matter what type of monster you are, you can be friends
just like elmo and domoKUN... so cute !

..
...

so lazy to blog. i'll try to blog more ...

poser much, haha

2010-07-31T15:59:00.002+08:00

hopes my readers are excited to see my next batch of pictures,
its taken on the same day too, no outfit change :(
the good thing is its in dslr quality, super clear
more vain pictures lining up for you !

its so clear that my textured skin can be seen, its not flawless, no
but clear things up, i did edit the lighting and add words but no my skin

the mystic picture of me, the real picture can barely see my face
credits to photoshop, always a hero to fix my dark pictures

another attempt to strut my glam face, with a lil touch of vintage
the font is so good in it, somewhat like a signature

how about this, looks like i am modelling for something
one of my friend was shocked because its so manly, well is it ?
perfect hair, perfect lighting, perfect pose, makes me scream
i envy myself of this picture, can i have this look forever

last but not least, my inseparable blackberry
my greatest accesory and the best i can ever have...

-

stay tune for the next post for the grand introduction of the camera
and also some of the effects that the camera features ....

Mind Blowing ~

2010-07-27T20:02:00.003+08:00

since i have not update for ages, i am gonna post some pics
my dad bought a new camera so i get hold of it and play with it
mostly is my vain pictures, i reveal the camera and some features soon
but now just enjoy my vain pictures;

all my 'obsession' to gain fame, the flashing of the camera
gah, i didn't dressed properly but who cares !

my glowing bb !

like to have dramatic look and scene, can it be elegant ?

my needs to be a super star, the hat and shades
convincing? don't look at what am i wearing !!

-

before i end this dramatic scene, i must show you all something
something to do with my obsession for glamorous lifestyle
or craving to have my pictures taken by photographer
and edit into something marvelous like poster, ... etc ....

-

this is it,

my very own album cover ! amazing ? shock ? i am proud of myself xD
now i wish i was really dressed properly and have a nice hair
or a better place to be in with ! please love the last pic <3
stay tune for the next batch of pictures !

please click the pic to gain the full view !
-

LE FIN

SWEET cupcakes !

2010-06-10T19:13:00.003+08:00

if you have sweet tooth, you might wanna stay tune and see
today's blog entry presents ....

you're not blind, it is dramatic cupcakes !
the way i editted the pictures is BOLD and STRONG

here is the infos for what, where and the website of this cupcakes
do check it out, i am giving free adverstiment ...

all of in the box !

somehow this is suppose to be a grand chocolate cupcake with gold sprinkle !

PINK for the princesses and divas, not excluding BIMBOS

orange colour but its not orange flavour.

there is a HEART on top of it !

CHOCOLATE with cute sprinkles on it !

the GLAMOROUS golden coffee called 'after morning'
sadly i remember this name only !

somehow it's horribly edditted ?

Rocked Hard

2010-06-07T14:38:00.002+08:00

when this obviously the continuous post from the last update
i will continue with pictures of the foods that was served

*please do click on the landscape pictures, as it is not fully viewed

this is another appertizer, the ever cheesy NACHOS
while editting this picture, i definately want to eat it again

Butter Salmon with BIG mashed Potato

as the caption is HAWAIIAN CHICKEN
if you are wondering where is the pineapple,
afterall it is HAWAIIAN, right ?
the pineapple finely diced into smaller bits hidden

the BIG, BIGGER mac and cheese
makes you wanna bite you screen ?

Let's get on with the drinks,

some mix grapes or ribena sort of drinks
notice the cup is shimmered with sugar, SWEET

well i forgot this drink's name, so i simply name it
according to my brother, this is not that KISSABLE afterall

all those pictures was before eating them,
behold the after of the meal !

look, all the nachos is GONE, teehee

also finished and gone, tasty !

just quenched my thirst by looking at it
exeggerating much, hee hee

*so long i abanbon my blog due to my exams
*since it is holidays, i try to update more

behind the blog

2010-05-26T22:10:00.003+08:00

i always have a deep conversation with myself
i think about a lot of stuffs, plenty of things
i am stranded in my thoughts, loads of crossroads
standing there looking in all directions, still lost

i may seems always carefree and nothing worries me
it just that i prefered people to give me that
i don't want people going asking me about happening
here i am once again, telling my feelings to my blog

imma rock hard

2010-05-12T19:24:00.002+08:00

i went to Hard Rock Cafe again, this time it was night
i am still not in a state to really type words, let the pics talk

seriously, i love this picture
it capture my thinnest side and credits to shadow
another thing i realise is that i have brown hair

browsing thru' the drinks menu, obviously

hmm, placed my order and just waiting for it

it gotta be the appertizer to be served first
awesome one, dying to have another one now

..
.
..
.
..

i kept this pic a last or grand finale, coz its sort nice
captured the busyness of the street in the city

do click this pic, as it might not be fully view
love the glam, ;D

the badge

2010-05-11T21:59:00.003+08:00

today was an odd day for a typical tuesday
what's odd was there was an initiation of monitor and asst. monitor

here is the proof,

the badge that i am suppose to return in
at the end of the year, not gonna

* short update is better than non ?
**addicted to photoshop

since when?

2010-05-09T16:57:00.002+08:00

long since i blog or update pictures in my blog
i know my viewer too abandon my blog like me
well i not really going to revive my blog
but just i was sick and tired of revising for exams

when there is camera, you know ' picture time '

i am even lazy descript all of the pictures
just have a look, that's enough for me !

get

2010-05-08T23:48:00.002+08:00

what would it be now, what is coming after this?
so what now? i am not enjoying myself lately
i am turning sensitive, i meant overly dramatic
that i let myself become a monster or a bitch

i kept on drawing the line between everything
i was never normal when its come to thinking
i do think critically but my action may not be propotional
but doesn't mean i am not capable of thinking

sometimes i don't apply things that i thought of
because i don't think people will accept it
futhermore, everytime i decide on something
the ending was bad written all over it

how am i gonna succeed in this condition
i am trying proove to people but i end up wrong
such embarassing moments, should i embrace it
maybe i should for the sake of myself

i am easily irritated and annoyed by the smallest thing
i just pretend that i am alright, just don't want to burden others
don't want to be named as a selfish person
maybe that is not true, but the aura is giving out 'go away'

feeling unwanted, i should get use to it

selfish

2010-04-26T21:07:00.003+08:00

to those losers and failures in life, you should really listen what i have to say
the only reason you could never succeed is you constantly
when i said constantly, i really mean everytime you failed
you just blame on someone who actually succeeded

sure you can lie to yourself that is just a dream, well wake up
you are just being unfair to the others not because you fail
but you jugde and penalize someone who done great
well i gotta say get a life, will you? at least for the sake of yourself

you should really move on and try to improve your flaw
you can be straight forward and pin point everyone's mistake
have it occur to you that you are not so perfect at all?
sure we gotta thank you for making our flaw an end

but when you are out of the limit, its just hurtful to listen
you could never picture yourself in another's position
you are just self-centered and its all about you
come on, you are denying the fact and you just blame others

well time to wake up, others ACTUALLY worked hard for the success
unlike you, everyone stop whining and start trying out everything
you did not work hard and you have the nerve to blame them
well you should try to work hard for something

don't blame you if you never learn, you are just selfish

-

2010-04-25T22:05:00.001+08:00

ever get a feeling of being invsible, not wanted?

just a wish

2010-04-19T22:30:00.002+08:00

do what you want, you have a choice to do what you want
if there is a wish, i wish for flight and i want to be free
i want to fly around and free roam around anywhere
i want to feel the sky and cloud, wonderous feeling

just a wish

my best friend

2010-04-18T22:57:00.002+08:00

my blog is catagorised as my best friend,
the only reason is my blog listens to what i have to say
never abandon me or even leave me
i can always count on my blog to be there for me

in real life, people are always busy or simply does not have 'time'
whether they are doing something or nothing
its seems that no one really is there when i need them
i sound so demanding that i need my friends to be here whenever

i tell myself that its okay that you are alone
alone not necessary means you're lonely
but i dare to say i am not the only one
i'm sure there is plenty of people is alone

sucks ?

2010-04-17T15:39:00.002+08:00

when you fail on the first attempt completing something,
people will usually comfort you by saying 'Do it better next time'
well, at the certain in life you will think that there is not better
everyone seems to be flying higher and faster than i am

feel like i completely disappear from the range of good
like dropping down to the ground sooner or later
its like i'm in no position to compete against the others
i am losing my rights to be with the best and better

no matter how hard i struggle, the outcome is always bad
not up to the expection while the others just ace
its not important no more, i will not stop trying
i'll do whatever i want with my life, life sucks !

be strong

2010-04-16T22:22:00.002+08:00

i had just decide on making a drastic measure,
this is self prevention of getting hurt again,
you won't know the pain i have gone through,
don't try say anything that you know how does it feel !

i could take my sweet vengence on you, BITCHES
but i just not that kind of person who does that
well, i know you have me as evil person
the only reason was me being a BITCH about it

you don't know me, i truly don't blame you
you don't bother to know me, i don't care
i should learn to be less sensitive and ...
you should be less judgmental though

judging a book by its cover can't be a bad thing
but you don't mention anything with hesitation
its reckless that you accused someone by accident
just no fair to those who is innocent

couldn't blame you all for you insensitivity
its either your born attitude or just like that
maybe i should mentioning how much i don't care
and start to not care about it

like my brother say, you don't need everyone's approver
your approver is the most important of all
people's opinion we should value, but thoughts have to put in
we shouldn't ignore their opinion, it might be valuable

now i don't beg everyone to see what i have to show
instead i should show it whether they're looking or not
there is bound to be someone to realise your existance
life is all about patience, definately someone is gonna see it

not like most people i know, i don't actually have attention
attention from friends, just so lonely and ...
its like no one actually know your existance, heck it
i am often upset that i am frequently invisible

till this very day, i admit that i still feel like that
everytime i go online, and my taskbar is usually empty
no one but one or two of my real friend will bug me
but most of the time is just me filling in apps

everyday i listen to music and try to drown myself with it
music speaks louder than what i have to say
well, music speaks better than my peers in school
music really fills my soul with love and care

when i flashback to those incidents, i will cry
i am tough so i don't let myself cry
i want to change everything but i couldn't
i learn to accept it and move on

i want to stop dreaming and start living
but i am too weak to stay in the reality
its just so cruel but i need to stand strong
stay strong and love yourself more !

smile :D

2010-04-12T22:15:00.002+08:00

there is always something in life that could do wonders
one second you feel you could touch the sky
the other minute you feel so down that you couldn't feel
the next hour you will realise that you're just being silly

there is certainly always something bound to make me smile
one bit of 24 hour could just let me feel sky high
these moments are special, no money can buy
also these moments don't just pop up, make it yourself

smile, sure is wonderful receive smiles from everyone
especially from those who you can't live without
their smile worth a lot of properties you can ever own
but one thing for sure, you can never sell it away

the same person can also cause misery and pain
you must be thinking how can this be
you can give in everything and everything could be taken back
just like any disappointmet but these will leave scar

but it is weird that you can always forgive them
even with countless of deeds that stabs your heart
this not even scientist could prove this theory
but i know it is wonderful !!!

smile :D

rumours

2010-04-11T19:23:00.002+08:00

rumours, do you all have encounter rumours about you?
well rumours might not be the best description of someone
but is sure is a good way of communication with others
it just like a breaking news that everyone knows and talks

i'm sure everyone encounters rumours at least once in a lifetime
roughly, everyone knows that rumours always contain the same thing
such as embarassment, not ideal event, or even 'couple issues'
throughout my highschool life, i think rumours is sort of necessary

let me share some experience of mine encountering rumours
i have this rumour spreading around since 2008
not the good type or hurtful though, but its sure is annoying
after years, i think i got used to it and no harm is done

rumours is just part of your life, you might say

sigh

2010-04-10T11:37:00.002+08:00

the distances is drawn and its getting obvious day by day
it really breaks my heart to encounter this distant
i would cry every night and ask myself why let it happen
deep down i know its definately my fault that this happened

i have no idea to mend this torn scar in my heart
after this experience, i do not wish it to happen again
the next i couldn't let you go, don't want to
not its still remained torn in my delicate, fragile heart

i know crying and sobbing will not help in anything
but what else can i do for now ? nothing i guess
this is really bitter but it used to be bitter sweet
all these was used to be and soon to be

no matter how loud i sigh, assumption will lay down
whether its good or bad, still its could be fake anyhow
truth is the most important and i could bare to keep it
at last i did keep it to myself and not wanting to share

don't have the courage to admit it and to tell
just waiting for my thought to happen
that is really dumb, stupid to do and it just don't happen
i should just stand up and scream to you, right ?

who doesn't have problems, i'm sure everyone does

fuss buzz

2010-04-09T22:15:00.003+08:00

i am dissappointed that not even my family understands
no whatever regards whether its intended or not, ignore
no matter how hard i try to explain myself
it only end up as a mess and trouble for me

also i live in a drama filled with controversy, always questions
it is not fun to live in one, there is always tears everywhere
i am with scars everywhere, all those times i am hurt
no one was there to help me, but only sympathize me

i don't really need that, i just want someone to understand me
all those try to care for me, did not help me at all
well those who really help with strengthen me
no longer weak, i am stronger everytime i got hurt

no one try to be in my shoes for once, not once
no one see in through my eyes, tough luck
just say whatever you want, knowing you don't know
just stay away from me, YOU BITCHES

from young, i am full of high hope and also expectations
everytime i just fall and injuries usually occurs
for now, i so used to dissapointment and frown
i need to learn how to stand strong and fight for me

i am suppose to be like a happy, carefree person
but thats just a mask or simply a disguise or appearance
how many would know the bitter story beneath this
most remain nothing, well some will know

i just leave it like this, don't bother if there is no one
the world is full of people but suddenly i feel, really feel
i am living in a world, world with me as the only person

sure you can tell me you understand, but you are not
just stay and mind your own business
you will just make it worse than ever !
better yet i'll slowly distance myself from the world

nothing

2010-04-08T22:20:00.002+08:00

have you ever feel so hopeless that couldn't feel at all?
well sometimes i don't feel anything, most of my time
sometimes i don't recognize what is my emotion, how
its kinda tough having no exact feeling to describe

all is there for me to answer how am i feeling today, is nothing
ain't kind of miserable, just leave it be =)

i'm moving out

2010-04-07T20:33:00.002+08:00

lets see or review what happened today ?
i woke up in an average mood and still sleepy
got on the van and listen to the radio, hoping its my fav song
take a brief nap and reached to the school

lets see, it wednesday today and which means sport practise
well my house did marching and i wasn't sad about that
just the fact that the sun is burning hot and i'm still okay
i don't mind walking six rounds and despices the complaints

but some phrase really lead me to intolerate towards it
those phrase is like knifes stabbing through my heart
truly felt so hurt and was defendless as i was penalized
whatever i said seems like a funny, hilarous joke to you all

well, i couldn't tolerate it no more and decide to ignore it
but once again i failed in ignoring cause i was very pissed
bits by bits is haunting me and i am beginning to see my downfall
at last i decided to keep quiet and how this will go away

its real when people say everything is not what it seems
more mess was created by me and indirectly me too
whether there is blaming going or not, i feel there IS
when the blame leaves, guilt will fill in

i couldn't take it anymore and its rather difficult
change? don't be silly, trust me about this
no one will see or even notice a mere about it
you are the one who can feel it, why bother then ?

now i dare not voice out anything in class, no one listens
even there is, people will start leaving remarks about it
remarks like childish, irrational, brainless thoughts i have
well, better look in the mirror before telling this to my face

to me, i'm like talking to a typical, conservative china man
your range of thinking is so small and just going round it
you dare to shout to the world that you are really open
open to what must i ask, i bet the answer from me is YOURSELF

you can tell me that i am lying to myself but clearly i am not
there is only one question that i always have to ask you all
the question is "do you mind ?", whatever countless you are gonna say
your judgement towards is very low and you don't know me at all

don't you act like you have known me for like a century or even more
i don't even do that, i feel so used when you ask me for a favour
heck, i am too kind, the only reason why i help!
trust me, it is worth of my time for this mess? no, right?

the class is like stranger land to me, and you know why
most of you all talk to me when there's something you need
its clearly when there's nothing, i am just a stranger
this have really lead me to think i'm a left-out or an outcast

sometimes the class' only student is me, i feel that way
most of you missee my existance and should i care?
i really start to question myself, am i that bad?
fine by that way, there is nothing could change the way i think

not that i am cold hearted, i really, have really thought of
disconnecting from all my classmates and start a new life
now i am filling my sadness into doing homework and revision
i am officially a nobody in class other than your irresponsible monitor

you guys just understand why and never will you all know
i truly see the point upon letting you all know
i rather i'm the one who got hurt and i slowly move out of your lives
i don't want any regrets throwing at me

i am really depressed and i am not afraid to admit it
not like some losers is afraid to tell the world

those fools who doesn't understand at all, will not expect anything from these fools as nothing is gonna change their views towards me

let me just get rid of your lives, okay ?

bad

2010-04-06T22:35:00.002+08:00

now that i have more understanding towards myself
i really realised that i have split personality

bad

irrational

2010-04-05T22:14:00.002+08:00

why do i like to choose the impossibles to achieve ?
the chances i am taking and there's no guarantee feedback
why do i insist on going throught these kind of mental torture ?
dazing all night long, not that i have sleepless night but its bitter

in the night, night is the time when i feel so energyless !
can't think properly and also lose all my sense of rationality
emotionally still, neutral feelings i have ! not happy nor sad
haven find a way to express these feelings in a proper way

lost all my faiths towards everything !
shattered in million bits !

gemini

2010-04-04T21:57:00.004+08:00

you know ! i read something about my horoscope
and i might say its very, very accurate and i am not denying
it truly describe the bitterness i always wonder why
i can partially understand why i have some urge to be emo

i love the way it describe me as Gemini, just my opinion
in the morning, i will be just like a happy chirp who wont stop smilling
in the night, i will sut alone and flashback those moment
moment that bring me down and also tear me apart

also, every gemini share a story, not just a story
it will ought be a bitter, depressed and painful story
the story might reveal the weakness and flaws
at the same time, it also prove that emotionally strong

another is, gemini is afraid rejection and also hurt
i would get hurt rather than you get hurt
what is more true is gemini don't assurance in them
this is what is always holding the gemini back

there is plenty more ...
i am proud to be a gemini !

pondering

2010-04-01T20:11:00.002+08:00

i gotta admit that sometimes i have the tendency to think in a naive way
feels like uber childish, come to think of it i am not really a grown up
even if i am one, i have the choices or ways to express myself
it can be anyway that i want it to be, no one really cares

feels that i always make things seems suprising for myself, it will fail
sometimes i just see it coming, so i just can't simply pretend to that i can't see
i also have lonely ambitions which i destroy the entire human population
then i am ought to live by myself with none companies by me

sometimes i feel people can a lil burden to me, as there is difference
no one is gonna listen or do whatever you want, they're not your puppet
its hard to be patience and wait for them to understand what do you want
its best you don't expect anything or much from anyone

human can hurt you mentally very badly, especially with words
words are sharper than the knife you have in your kitchen
human's self defence always includes lying if is necessary
it just that there is a tendency to lie about everything

i am emotionally broke down, majorly depressed; also utterly bitter
what is the remedy for this ? nothing seems to fall into place
i can't seems to detect the origin of this emotional sickness of mine
i want to close my eyes and imagine to be in my happy place

did you ever feel that you are so desparate for happiness,
that you can lie to yourself just so you can feel much better ?
i am telling you that i will if it is very, very drastic
lie is somehow sooting to live in, just like an illusion you desire badly

everytime i am ready to accept new things, there is always something seems to be
holding me back from recovery of the pain and the hurt
it is going forth and back, just like gravity
it is the time to try defying the gravity, and live according to you

Pondering about things that bring me down, occasionally !

frustrated for what?

2010-03-30T17:03:00.002+08:00

today i am majorly frustrated and out of option for any actions
my last resort is to blog about it and hope someone can empathize me
i don't need no pity from anyone but i required someone to understand me
i am clueless whether its my problem or its the others'

i feel greatly that my opinion is completely invaluable and no one listens
no even a glance, its as though i somehow don't exist
not that i want the world to revolves around me but i feel like an outcast
even in this very blog, i bet no one really cares or bothers to read

now i am lost all my senses to anything, losing my confidence
i seriously think i should shut up for good of everyone
i should also stay quiet all the time, minding my own business
i know some of my class mates will think i talk too much

i also never thought that all this could bring me down, now it did
even so this is an assumption that i could not treat it seriously
i truly feel like an outcast for unknown reasons
i think i need to go take a nap or something!

crack a smile

2010-03-11T17:48:00.002+08:00

its be a while since i update my blog due the exams
i am back but i may have some bad news to deliver

i can tell you that i might be moving another blog hosting website
or i can manage both blogs, let me have a longer thought about it

here is the LINK !

2010-03-04T21:18:00.002+08:00

finally almost half of the exam is over and i am so relief
why? its because the history paper was over, even i did not ace it
just don't have the interest towards history though
to make it worst, it is within malaysia and islam (no offence)

so much relief =D

paranoiya

2010-03-01T21:30:00.002+08:00

my head is undergoing headbanging experience
major, uber headache from unknown source
i am thinking a lot lately but not academic related
a lot or bothersome, i dislike it uberly

CRAZY bitch

paranoid !

pooopooo

2010-02-27T22:37:00.001+08:00

really there is nothing to update about, argh

2010-02-26T14:17:00.003+08:00

times like this always occcurs in life but it is a bothersome
causing me to lose control of my emotion and become sad
conflicts is filling up and also tumbling down, i'm lying dead
gotta calm myself, even tears is falling down and i'm terrified

truth been told, refusing to believe such truth like its lie
when hurt yourself too much, its only right that you don't believe
its called self-defence, don't want no scars leaving a mark
marks that reminds you the pain and the horror of it

i am facing it, not trying to avoid anything at all
assumption had got you no where, open your eyes
see what is lying or hanging in front of you
it might be destiny or your answer that you are waiting for

tell me that when i was FIFTEEN, i might believe you
now that i am not, cleary i don't believe you anymore
not as naive as i was before, those petty thoughts is gone
don't expect me to believe or answer those questions

its already gone, all i can tell you now

New blog skin

2010-02-25T20:23:00.002+08:00

its time that i change my blog skin to something nicer,
notice its not dark and gloomly, no longer look like a EMO blog
extra features is the vintage effects, that totally caught my eyes
i think this blog skin is gonna hang around my blog for some times

exams is close and near that its taking my breathe away
first term of my form 5 life is gonna end soon and i need to say goodbye again
not freaking out about the assessment though, not much of a horror
but what i cannot wait is the holidays after the exams

'every cloud have its silver lining'

the pictures is sadly not taken by me =(

i do want to take nice pictures, but there isn't camera for me to use
RESTRICTED somehow

. . .

2010-02-24T22:51:00.000+08:00

argh, exams is visiting in four days
am very lazy and nothing to blog about

there will be fairytale

2010-02-23T22:49:00.003+08:00

everyday of my life, emotions will be running through my veins
no matter its good or bad, i will have all kinds of feeling
but i know there is a moment that i can call my own fairytale
no matter how bad it is, there is bound to be a fairytale occur by my side

how sad

2010-02-22T22:24:00.001+08:00

its back to normal, well there is nothing to blog !

6th day

2010-02-19T23:46:00.001+08:00

today went to watch Valentine's Day, and i want to wach again

LOVE dark mocha frappuccino

the also 5th day

2010-02-18T23:55:00.000+08:00

its the fifth day, no pictures as no camera ~

its yesterday's pictures

the 'happy' 4th day

2010-02-17T15:15:00.002+08:00

*a emo picture for the emo day*

this is the 4th day of chinese new year, feeling so hurt
aren't new year suppose to be a happy memory ?
well, things is not always as it seems to be, right ?
judgement had been made and proven guilty

feel like a ton of load fell on me and feeling unconcious
according to someone, everything i do is childish
well whether the fact is right or wrong, you're a still hypocrite
you said i like to deny all the wrong and just accept the rights only

according to me, you are just the same and always filled with assumption
you said i assume too much that i don't even care try
who said, i tried and insisted, the ending ain't beautiful to be seen
in other words, are you calling me a liar ?

imma keeping in a silence thoughts and continue living in a fantasy
i find fantasy is a great place to heal the scars and wounds
time is also essential in the process of healing, find it so hard to take
am really and truly, very tired to think for another person

*high hopes revealing*

you thought it was only once, but its repeated so many times
that i lost count, now i don't even bother to try again
this is no longer an petty assumption, i rather stay in my naive world
also rather act innocent, don't want give no opinion !

it just hurt so badly and i will never be the same again
i live and learn from the scars and bruise that i obtained
its so painful to relive the same moment that brings you down
currently feeling very, very low that i can feel nothing at all

never thought i will be this low, can't think straight either
its new year after all, gotta still look happy, meaning fake it
gotta fake everything, in life there's a lot of synthetic things
this certainly does not exclude human's expression

*look its a blank hope, again*

even if no one bother to read this, at least i am relief
relief that i let out this emotional feelings that is hanging around
convincing myself to let it go is so tough and its just crazy
futhermore, those who is near and dear to me don't even believe me

no expectation of understanding from anyone anymore

why do i even bother to have high expectation from anyone
promises made is not necessary fullfill and don't have make one
a lot of people said promise is not meant to be keep
don't want to listen and make any promise

maybe i am still naive to believe people's given trust
trust have proven to me a lot and taught me to be strong
never 100% rely on someone, truly disheartened
perfection must be obtain by you, yourself not by others

its very hard for me to have high hopes, failure kept on flooding in
looking beyond it, also never make someone promise you something
knowing that they will keep it and make it happen
let me know if they is a living person who keeps promises

not that i want to think the negatives, just can't help it
the percentage of good happening is always so low
prediction of the worse is easily guessed
tell me who doesn't want a easy life ?

i see things that you don't see, that's naive ?
i just keep quiet knowing that you don't believe me
worst of all, you named me as a lunatic !
what a way to appreciate a person, feel so lucky !

i maybe using sarcasm but i truly mean the opposites
you have leave me no reasons to believe you anymore
tell you what that i call myself naive, the thing is
kept on having high hopes on you and failure you brought me!

this is where i end this post now, tears is filling in my eyes !

forgive and forget is never easy !

the fab 3rd day

2010-02-16T17:18:00.002+08:00

i know its getting bored in my blog, everything is lesser
less pictures, less words and less elaboration, others words DETAILS
its already the third day of chinese new year, sure its bored
was about to go out for a movie, but time can't meet our schedule

i'm seriously lazy and bored to update my blog !!
just look at my super vain pictures and theres more

LOOK its my 3rd outfit for new year !
not really showing you people what am i wearing

it sure looks like its about to rain but its a liar
its still sunny and really, really HOT

this is the glam and chic shades i bought yesterday when i'm in genting
some of them told me its like Lady GaGa's glamorous shades
well, i don't really care as long its wear-able and NICE
be charmed by me and this shades !

SO VAIN ~

STILL so VAIN

-

the weather, its burning hot !

the 2nd day ~

2010-02-15T23:33:00.002+08:00

so obvious its the second day of the new year !
went to Genting Highland today ~

finally wearing my new sneakers

my brother was caught on a candid shot !

my sister reday for the action

its CNY and Valentine

2010-02-14T21:40:00.002+08:00

well today its the official first day for Chinese New Year
this is a special year as its fall on valentine day

there is nothing special about valentine day for me
because i have no one special to celebrate with

trying to update on what i am wearing on new year

as you can see i don't have much colours to wear, the only visible colours
is Electric blue, soft pink and grey/black

its a new belt that my dad randomly bought it

one more details its white, i'm wearing it and blogging with it

well, i not lonely or is it ?

-

THE blogger hereby WISHES my readers
HAPPY CHINESE YEAR AND HAPPY VALENTINE DAY

CNY eve !

2010-02-13T17:45:00.003+08:00

today, its the eve for Chinese New Year and also Valentine Day
i'm sure everyone is having a last minute preparation or touch-up
people will be waking up early and clean the house
just so its presentable to everyone, don't want leave a bad remark for visitors

this year, imma being hardworking to take pictures for my readers
i also admit that i did help out, so don't say i'm lazy a !
once again imma gonna confess that i'm addicted to vintage pictures
nah, the real term for these photos is Crossed-Process photography

so tell me whether clear, sharp pics or vintagey, cross-process pics nicer !

where did it happen?
it was venued in a housing area called, Sungai Long
why did i name the picture 'Plastic Town' ?
its because it look like a fake town to me when i was editting it

i leave it as a secret for you all, don't want to tell what's that

mum's *insertasuitablename* prawn, tastes AWESOME
personally don't know what is the name, mum just followed some recipe

-

if you're chinese, you will definately pray the LUNCH before having them
its like an offering for your ancestors, also a REUNION lunch

so here's mine;

-

mum bought lotsa flowers for praying and displaying purposes

look at the pink daisy, so pretty !

every year, my parents buys a lot of pots of this
not the normal kind but the massive size !

remember the peach blossom from previous post, just scroll down
apparently its dying, the flowers kept on falling off, how sad

aside those fallen off, there is still some blooming now

-
also got myself a pretty, high-cut sneakers
i prefer to call it my boots, tell me its nice ;D

-

daylight is passing by, dusk is meeting us soon

wondering what colour will it be when the night falls out

Cause i'll never be the same, if we ever meet again !

another short one !

2010-02-12T22:59:00.002+08:00

you all know what ? actually i did plan to update my blog earlier
but i was lazy as school in form 5 is killing me and my energy level
if i were to update, i will update about something CNYish or about FASHION no?

JUST so let you all know, i don't like OVERRATED things !

what to do

2010-02-11T23:01:00.002+08:00

there is a lot of things being running thru' my head and i'm random
this has break me down mentally, can't think straight for these few days
had major due to the hot weather !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oowwhh

2010-02-10T22:08:00.001+08:00

' i don't care what people says, the rush is worth the price i'm paying,
i get so high when i'm you ! '

YOUR LOVE IS MY DRUG !

the END

2010-02-09T21:08:00.003+08:00

this will be last continuous post for the preparation of CNY
shall let the pictures speaks for itself, lazy and not in mood

-

take time to realise a lot of things, but its still insufficient time too

its always the end of something and a new beginning will sprout soon

still preparing

2010-02-08T21:33:00.002+08:00

this is a continuous post from yesterday update

did you all make a heartwarming phone call to your dearest one?
did you greet your friends and did you receive season greetings from everyone?

whether its fake or real one, as long durable
durable as in usable and also looks nice

don't know what else to say !

CNY preparation

2010-02-07T16:48:00.003+08:00

this whole morning, i was busy preparing my house for chinese new year
like decoarate it, by it i meant the living room, the garden and also the kitchen !
since that i did not post much pictures lately, i meant pictures that actually belongs to me
i took the camera and start taking pictures of the decorations and stuffs ...

i'm sure that everyone is either spring cleaning their houses
or decorating with some 'ang ang' ornaments around the house

shall we go on?

newly bought golden lanterns with beautiful peach blossom

here is some of the decorating items that keep on reusing
still looks good after using them for 3 years, can save money

chinese new year ornament that has been here since 3 years ago
why throw it away, when its still so new ?

guess what this ??

if you guess red ribbon ball, then you are right !
its actually a long, long red cloth with ribbon balls that people hang on the door

ignore my leg though .....

not sure whether this is a genuine bamboo trees, but it look like one to me
the mini lanterns were place over these bamboos

this is some fake peach blossom that come with the gift hamper
the colour looks warm and at the same time tasty, weird right?

now this is a real peach blossom, it looks like its a dying though
why ? can't adapt to Malaysia's hot weather, hope it can last till CNY is over

here is some lame questions :

A: why must decorate with red colour stuffs lei ?
B: because everyone want ang ang mah !
A: then why must ang ang lei?
B: erm, erm maybe because aa, chinese new year gua ?

FIN

fairytale

2010-02-06T14:17:00.009+08:00

everyone knows that fairy tale only exist in storybooks and movies
never appear in reality, somehow people are drawn towards fairy tale
maybe its just magical and the scenes that you want it badly to happen
even i want to live in a fairy tale, where i can live in my dreamland

the illusion that my heart draws

a lot of times i tell myself that this isn't a fairy tale and should wake up
no matter how many times i remind myself, i still fall into my own illusion
at a point i definately wish everything falls into place like how i want it to be
maybe i'm just naive believing in fairy tales that merely exist

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
lead her up the stairwell

this ain't Hollywood, this is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
now its too late for you and your white horse to come around

White Horse - Taylor Swift

i would lie to myself to feel better or somewhat relief about life
the obsession is so strong that it had become a drug
i'm sure that everyone is addicted to some kind of drugs
i'm honestly and hopelessly believe in fairy tale !

love is in the air

i know fairy tale is untouchable like a distant diamond sky
but if you want it so badly you can try to make it into reality
somehow everything will be too late and you will beg for forgiveness
i'm so sorry that everything is already gone and its really too late

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
you're gonna believe them
and when you're fifteen, don't forget to look before you fall
I've found time can heal most anything
and you just might find who you are suppose to be
I didn't know am I suppose to be at fifteen

Fifteen - Taylor Swift

one day you are gonna wake up and find everything isn't the same
the reason given was it is always not the same and never will be
all you can do is move on and be who you are because you don't belong here anymore
let's stop hoping and start making it come true as you determine your own life

you create your own sparks in life

love is definately a drug in a fairy tale, definately got you addicted to it
everywhere you turn and you see, its always the same person
your eyes are caught by them and your heart is stolen too
feeling like you can't breathe and can't live without them

you had me falling for you honey
and it would've gone away, no
you used to shine so bright
but i watch all of it fade

You're Not Sorry - Taylor Swift

i was close to create my own fairy tale yesterday and i did not do anything
knowing nothing was holding me back but can't help it to feel unwanted
someone told me you are the one who can make it happen
i certainly did not appreciate the golden ticket, let it just pass by me

the ending that i want

now i got nothing to believe in anymore, feeling kinda regret
i would want to blame someone but i did not because i'm the one to be blamed
can i forgive myself ? can i just face the fact that is lying in front of me ?
i think the answer is no, feel like the sky is crying for me too when it rains

the bottom's gonna drop out from under your feet
I'll catch you, I'll catch you
when people say things that bring you to your knee
I'll catch

the time gonna come when you're so mad you should cry
but I'll hold you though the night until you smile

Jump then Fall - Taylor Swift

i did not accomplish anything but its not a failure too
wish i could go back the starting point and rewrite my fairy tale
the way i sincerely feels and make it happen, don't wanna feel regret again
also there isn't regards left in me, let me continue to slumber and dream on

should i just walk away just like that?

all i wanted is to be wanted by you and you have no response
i can feel you that you secretly feel the same way like i do
but me an you can easily deny it and feel regret of the action had been done
even knowing its the truth, we just couldn't face it

Taylor Swift's lyrics inspires me to keep on believe in my fairytale

in the middle of the night when waking from this dream
i wanna feel you by my side, standing next to me
you gotta come on, come on, say that we'll be together
come on, come on, little taste of heaven

Untouchable - Taylor Swift

its time to take off to your fairytale

boom booom

2010-02-05T21:40:00.001+08:00

boom pow boom boom pow !

Happy Birthday BRO

2010-02-04T21:49:00.002+08:00

Happy 21st Birthday my brother !

mmmm, something xD

the REAL one was Tall, Fair and White Specs *

pointless

2010-02-03T20:38:00.003+08:00

in life there is a lot of things that we want emphasis
but we can do it one by one, just like walking step by step
i am so speechless that we can't do much as the time is limiting me
so many things to do, but there its so little time !!

there is always a flower budding, waiting for right time to bloom
just like people, there is always someone waiting for the window of oppurnities
but there isn't a lot of chances been giving in a person life
its only fair that everyone gets a chance to outshine everyone !

nothing more left to say

looks tasty right? i want it

CONCLUSION; nothing !

i do not own any of these pictures shown above

fearless to be vain

2010-02-02T22:02:00.002+08:00

am suppose to take pictures for the moral project
namely by the theme of 'environmental'
was thinking to take picture of me and my sister watering the tree
but the camera's outcome was blur, very blur

i also ended up taking pictures of myself, so vain of me
also i'm totally addicted to vintage pictures or whatever you call it
sunlight was awesome and know that the pictures would be great
this totally made my day !!!

accidental shot of me, thought it was timing shot

am i fearless or just plain vain?

finally pictures for my blog, i think i blog about the gathering i mentioned earlier

,,,

2010-02-01T22:23:00.001+08:00

busy watching GRAMMY awards !

oooo

2010-01-31T22:15:00.001+08:00

this picture is not real, as in decorating the ugly doors !
faked the the stupid for the morale project

blues

2010-01-29T22:21:00.001+08:00

its friday night, thought it was suppose to be a party night
it doesn't seem like it and i forgot to ask for the pictures\

i'm down !

crazy 4

2010-01-28T20:48:00.002+08:00

a little something to remind me of my old, small little classroom
it shall remain as something that is valuable to me
shall never get to see my little class as its gone !
i'll treasure it with all my heart !

delay

2010-01-27T22:18:00.002+08:00

i truly apologises for the fact that i did not update about not updating about yesterday
not to put the blame on the others, its definately the photo factor
the photo is not with me, and friday or saturday only i can update about it
i try to update about it on friday, hope i'm not exhausted from tuition

;D have a nice day

'YOU' have not win yet, but imma support my friend

tempting ?

2010-01-26T22:42:00.001+08:00

something to tempt you all !

today i went out to leisure mall to have small reunion or gathering
just came back, i will state the details tomorrow and the pictures too.

!!!

2010-01-25T21:09:00.002+08:00

people can be so self-obsess, more like delusional
why can be so obsess !

krrolg

2010-01-24T16:04:00.002+08:00

i'm starting to rot at home, aren't i suppose to be busy right now?
not really, credits to someone, i'm at home doing nothing
waited the whole morning for nothing, been woke up by you people
now what, change of plans, decided to stay home ?

after all, i have no freedom of speech at home, no matter what i say is wrong
all i can do is juat listen, try to ignore every single detail
pretending that it don't bother me at all, well its a tough job
nothing is easy, its not easy doing nothing !

tired

2010-01-23T23:22:00.002+08:00

why are dreams so fragile? it tend to break easily with one blow
no matter how tough you are on the outside, you will break down one day
but not everyone is weak, everyone have different traits
so i don't see the point comparing yourself to someone else, as you know its not the same

why will you feel sad when your dreams are shattered ?
maybe its because its something that you plan and its not successful
that's why we are sad? it really had left me speechless
no one thing i can think of, mentally break down for a minute

everyone are bound to be sad somehow or anyhow
no way of preventing something that you can't see it coming
something will just stumble upon you, you are caught off guard
definately not prepared to face it, somehow we lose, sadness come along

school without camera is just so dull, no moment to be capture
this blog will fall apart and its because there is no life in it
its like a drawing without colour to it, there is an obvious difference
no more feel good moment to keep with us anymore, everything come to an end?

i seems like a person who focus onto the negative side ...
when people comments about my personalities
it will be happy, cheerful and mostly optimistic
but the truth is i'm not, sometimes i need a break from who am i

also am tired of living in the same drama that repeats itself
same old routine will get you bored, really tired ....

.

2010-01-22T22:58:00.000+08:00

its nothing !

happy with thoughts

2010-01-21T22:56:00.003+08:00

even if today has no homework for me to complete,
i made a decision to finish up something that isn't overdue yet
trying to achieve something for the last year in high school
finished the novel homework for BM, feel so accomplished

i'm very happy for no particular reasons, just joy filled the emptiness
i jumped, skipped merrily while mumbling song lyrics
never been so happy randomly for a long time, today rained
the rain is like adding more happy into me, can't help it but to smile

maybe this is what people mean, simplicity can bring happiness
also every lunch during school hours, is an enjoyable moment
hanging out with Yun and Yen, sharing our little secrets
secrets that burst into laughters for us three, simple laughter brings joy

i'll end here, tomorrow i gotta get myself pasteurize by Yen with Yun

speechless,,,

2010-01-20T20:13:00.002+08:00

i'm pretty speechless towards my daily routine, it's on loop
repeating and repeating, don't quite like it !!!
so boring that i don't have ideas, its absorb by the homework
so blame them !!!

o_O

2010-01-19T22:46:00.002+08:00

still so busy with my homework and assignments,
inconsistant amount of homework given, need to finish up everything
i'll try to update something interesting by this weekend ...
readers is dropping so fast, the horror ....

.,.,.,

2010-01-18T21:59:00.000+08:00

glamour glitz and timeless

abandon

2010-01-17T22:46:00.000+08:00

i'm busy doing my chemistry assigment that i abandon my blog

;;;

2010-01-15T22:46:00.001+08:00

wow, its getting busier day by day
tuition to coop up with my current science subject
the hardwork that i'm working on
definately it will come back to me

what a hectic day, 13 hours not been home

isnh

2010-01-14T22:47:00.002+08:00

gasp, i accidently forgot to update my blog,
form 5 is definately a busy year, doing homeworks and projects
furthermore, there is research to be done and i want slack
at the same time i don't want my homework to pile up

practically, there is nothing much going on at home and school
only daily routines and normal stuffs going on ...

white white like nothing

2010-01-12T20:39:00.002+08:00

its a typical night and i'm listening to kind of music
i'll never know your story like your's friends do

i wear white specs, you wear white specs
i'm the cheer captain, you were nobody

can't you see that i'm the one who doesn't understand you
i'm been here all along, can't you see

this is a bunch of looney words

back off, AM

2010-01-11T20:39:00.000+08:00

- you better back off, add maths -

moment that you

2010-01-10T16:46:00.003+08:00

millions of stars up in the sky, which of these belongs to you?
in the middle of the night counting how many stars are there
they're so little and so many of them, i felt asleep
all i know is that the star that caught my eye was so flashy

every night look outside my window, there's it and always will be
that star is light of my dreams and hope, somehow represents me
if it choose to fade, meaning i have to kiss all my dreams goodbye
shall let it go without any regards, let it fly like a butterfly

when it rains, dark clouds hide the stars and its darker than usual

used to have

2010-01-09T11:58:00.002+08:00

once i studied in a small classroom and hated it at first
love grows eventually and it's possesive and addictive
sometimes i hate it when you hate turns love, hate
but its the way of life and always its the way of life

remembered watching Lion King, mentioned something
about the circle of life, i do believe this theory
what goes around, comes around; Karma
nevermind of these bunch of nothing !

i could still remember the day i entered 4 joy
complaining the size of the room, so small and stuffy too
the amount of the oxygen is insufficient for 20 students
its hot most of the time and hardly cold

throughout the whole year of studying the compact room
i think i had fell in love with the way it is, no changes needed
guess what, the small, compact room had a warm, loving feel
the hospitality that we provide to teachers was remarkable

even i could feel that we're truly a family with strong bond
besides that, our room was isolated from all the classes
we simply stay in our tiny classroom filled with tiny table and chair
making the noise of five classes, i think i'm used to that enviroment

we always made full use of our time taking pictures and enjoying it

we celebrated a lot of events ourselves and it's truly fun
no other class i been its that crazy, eccentric and i lost count of the words
those will deeply craved in my heart as a sweet memory

what are the chances of having the life of this in the near future?
i don't know but its already over and i'm too late to prevent it from happening
i don't care what others think of us, especially to those who think we're weird
well, tough luck having class of yours and giggling its not as fun as laughing out loud

apparently our class was the first class and always claimed that we're the best
best as in keeping quiet and do what as we're told to, not rebellious
well, we're still kids who wanna have fun like everyone else
what makes us differently from the other ? perhaps the fact its the first class

the 4 joy of 2009 is trying to prove to the teachers that we're not a bookworm
also capable of work hard and play hard at the same time !
we're not the same as the previous joy classes that is quiet and silence
noisemaker or not, we're proud of who we are and still standing strong

Life is like a book that you wrote, certainly live through it

don't know what you all think about us, but we not its not something we care
we also wanted to thank the school for isolating our class
we did not feel lonely being the only class on the floor
instead it really help us a lot, also we got different teachers from the others

feeling so special and completely lose the feeling of anger towards the isolation
all the teachers were so humourous and we tend entertain each other
some were gone and some were not teaching us again, feeling upset
but always hoping for the best and you know something to hold on

but what's lost, its already gone and no turning back
even there is some regard and a little of regret
but i must understand that its a reality and the fact
a fact that i can't possibly change, it had to be USED TO HAVE

used to escape the reality but i know its immature of me to do that
all is there to do is to look back and remember those moments
that had pass by just like that without the chance saying goodbye
its going too fast, so fast that i'm missing something that has not over

even time stop, no time in the world can make me feel the same
i also know that if time stops, i couldn't feel it either
because everything will freeze and its nothing at the end
but i can't help it wondering what would it be like if is forever of the moment

Love is possessive, enough said

i not ready to accept a big change that's happening so fast
called me immatured, maybe i just don't want to accept it
the love i have its really possessive and addicted for quite some time
never notice it because i don't want it to be reveal, wanna keep it as a secret

can i still believe in fairytale, where happy endding occurs at the end ?
or the unbelievable suprise come along with it, NO this is the reality
what else is left to do ? i'm falling down and in love with something
that i used to have, so why not ?

-

as much i don't want the moment to end, but i still have to end this post
this is the decent post that i mention, yet its not decent after all
i shall leave the hidden meaning remaining hidden, not wanting to find it
perhaps when i'm older, i might flipped back the pages looking for it

the littlest can really bring the most joy to us, believe it

can i be visionary ? am i right ?

oo

2010-01-08T20:09:00.001+08:00

- ITS FRIDAY, THEREFORE I'M ALLOW TO BE LAZY FOR NOW -

a decent post will be updated in the weekend, Happy First Weekend !

insane

2010-01-07T21:17:00.001+08:00

- I'M MUAY MUAY MUAY HAPPY, DON'T KNOW WHY -

i'm happy because of *ahemahemahem*, insanity

ooo

2010-01-06T21:48:00.000+08:00

- HOPE SLIGHTLY CRUSHED, NOTHING TIME CAN'T CURE -

urgh

2010-01-05T20:11:00.002+08:00

its another school day, which i call tuesday !
due to the new traffic system the school is working on,
plenty of students reached to school pretty late
i hurried to class and rushed to the HOC for the assembely

there was a 'student' jam going on at the bridge ...
a lot was rushing to the hall and there it was ...
CERTAINTEACHERWHICHICLEARLYDISLIKE was there
what a great sight to start a marvelous day !

credits to the long-winded 'welcome back to school' speech
ADD MATHS was indirectly gone and of course we're happy
last year, we have add maths after the assembely
a very bad way to start a school day, but suppose it's normal?

it's wednesday tomorrow ....

........

2010-01-04T19:41:00.002+08:00

its the 1st day of school, i somehow survived it
its a great day to start school minus the a lot of facts happened this morning
there were 2 new student or should i said an ex-Surian and a new student
just so let ya'll know, i have 'Megan Fox' as my history teacher, she's pretty funny

everyday i will update a short post to keep you all entertain, or not
so bear with me because i have no update of photos or images